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[3/10/2007] Getting personal out of the way. [sticky]

okay... "sticky" means "always at top."

Many of the below passages are what some describe as “crass.” Some may describe them as “disrespectful.”

I was going to apologize. I was talking to my very good friend the other day, and she was interested in a view I held expressed in one of the passages written below. She was having trouble veiwing it because her browser; she couldn't see any of it. That's when I kinda realized that I was a bit relieved that she couldn't see many of the things here. I wasn't really proud of anything I had written below, and I was afraid that I might change her opinion of me. I made many, many exaggerations. I didn't feel like they represented me. I don't want to erase them because I would feel like that would be cowardly. I don't want to explain them because I wish for them to explain themselves. I don't know how many people read these, so I dont really know my audience. And, I don't really apologize, because I hope my friends and family know me better then this. I have many friends that would shun me and many friends that would praise me for my words below. Shun me for exaggerating and overgeneralizing and attacking the wrong group; praise me for knowing that respect has nothing to do with something superficial. For seeing past the makeup and the Gucci glasses. All the people I consider friends have character that is absolutely unquestionable. They are all strong people.

Secondly, in many of these passages, I'm defending myself. But, I hate to think I'm being attacked. I'm not. Below I wrote something like “...it's never personal.” Well, I admit its is personal. My particular actions when I'm at a party are impersonal, I'm having fun; I don't care what you think of me. But my personal relations with other are personal. I probably tend to hold many people dear to me that I probably have no business holding dear. I'm being reactive here and I really have no reason for being defensive.

For now on I will try to stay away form personal matters in my subjects that write about. Thank you for your time and understanding.

Humbly,
casper911ca
3/10/2007

[3/15/2007] humble-smugness

To favorite smiley -

Why are you my favorite?
Quite frankly, I like the expression you have. It reminds me of the “Bad Boy Club” brand I used to see around in the Nineties with an added confident smirk. Man that was cool shit "Foo'!"

On the other hand, you also remind me of the smile of the Hunch Back of Notre Dame... Disney's version. Kinda deformed and innocent at the same time. The harmless cool confident air it represents. Smashed and cute at same time.

The third thing it reminds me of is the squinty grin my Lil' Bro Greg used to give me. I aways wanted to hit him for it. Squint both you eyes, purse you lips and squeeze out a smile and you'll have it. I love you Greg - can i hit you? pweese?

One more reason to love it... is its simplicity. Theres not even a [shift] required. Just... bam-bam. You've made your mark. No questions asked.

In all its humble-smugness, happiness, winky-ness, and oxymoron-ness... moron-ness.

So, to you and your stupid smile.

[3/12/2007] What am I doing

This whole website thing has lost its novelty. I just read this. It made me rather depressed. It was his single line:
"I wonder if I'll be running this site when I'm 30, or even 40."

It made me wonder the same thing... I hope not. That really puts a bad taste in my mouth.

I then saw that "casper911ca" might not look like a Myspace replacement, but rather a nerds way of wasting time. The orginal intent was to create the message board and just let people go at it. Then I would network with others who have their own websites and it would turn into some sort of different Myspace, Xanga, Facebook thing. If people didn't know how to do it I would show them how and write tutorials and whatnot. But, I figured that people would probably want to visit more if I gave them interesting and funny links. Then i figured, hell, I want to write something, hence the blog thing. Now I kinda realize what this might look like.

BTW - finding the websites isn't that hard. I have this neat little Firefox plugin called Stubleupon. It basically takes me to a random website that someone else has marked as funny or good. It's an easy way to find many of the Internet's jewels. It can keep me entertained for hours on occasion.

If everyone knew how easy this whole HTML and CSS thing was, this wouldn't feel so dorky. Oh well, I'm out growing this. This site might disappear by the end of the year. Along with the whole Myspace thing. Seriously, do you really imagine yourself at 30+ screwing around on Myspace? Well... sans the stalkers and sexual predators.

[2/28/2007] Dickhead

[2/25/2007] Campus map

[2/25/2007] If UCI Dictated Road Policies

[2/20/2007] This Cog's Missing A Few Teeth.

Heres Something you already know.

College is the biggest hoax in the world. You pay about $3000 every three months for an email address, lectures that are almost in English, and a sixty year old woman to lecture you on dropping math class.

"We reviewed at your request, and were going to do you a favor and let you drop the class. But I want you to know that I will never do this again for you. For now on you have to drop by second week."

Your going to... let me drop the class? Excuse me, but Fu*k you. I'm a paying customer. I pay YOU. You have the right to tell me what I can and cannot do? In fact, your telling me that if I refuse service, that it has to be approved? If I go the dentist, that's what - $50 for a simple visit, and I sit down in his special chair and I decide that I dont like the toothbrush he's using and I refuse his sevice to inspect my teeth, I have to get permission to leave? Hell, I can even ask for a refund!

Now I can learn Calculus for a $50 book or for free online. For free, I can sit in Dr. Jabbari's class and take notes and listen and learn Dynamics, or Algabashi's class and do the same for Thermo, and I dont even have to take a test! What a Deal! Fuck your "Financial Aid" (FYI - mine is the the form of Loans). I don't have to pay for this! Your effing peice of paper.

I want it though. I want it so bad. Kurtis Saiyo: Bachelors in Engineering. "Here you go, someone might look at your resume now." You've proven yourself. You've gone to class, survived on a regular diet of Spaghetti and Cheerios, scored above average on some tests, stuggled to find housing, and fisted over a small fortune for it. Your Hard Core man. You might be worth looking at.

Now go stand in line.